


Gamer Turned Assassin

by SilentKnight369



Category: Assassination Classroom, Sword Art Online
Genre: Character Death, Crossover, E class family, E class kick ass, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, PTSD, SAO family, Sporadic Updates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2019-09-12 03:27:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16865278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentKnight369/pseuds/SilentKnight369
Summary: Weird was the new normal at Kunugigaoka Junior Highs class 3-E. An octopus teacher that blew up the moon? Check. Students turned assassins in order to kill said octopus? Check. A student who's a survivor of the infamous SAO incident? Check. Wait... what?





	1. What the actual fuck?

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own either of these anime's only my OC.
> 
> Chapter one has been rewritten. 22/2/19

I let out a quiet sigh, a statement as to my ever-growing boredom, one which was echoed by several of my fellow classmates. Class 3-E, the throw-aways of Kunugigaoka Junior High, were waiting for their teacher, as we had been for the last two days. Her lack of appearance had gone from strange to concerning to resigned in quick succession and not even the welcoming of the new student they had gained was able to pierce the gloomier than usual attitude. Both Isogai and Kataoka, the class representatives, had complained to the main campus just yesterday but they had yet to send a replacement. Not that anyone had expected anything else. This along with the remote nature of our classroom was why my eyes narrowed slightly when I heard footsteps outside the classroom. I sat up slightly straighter, dark red eyes fixed on the door as I wiped the surprise off my face. The door slid open and the rest of my classmates perked their heads up in surprise. I kept my expression blank as several men and woman in black suits, and alarmingly carrying guns, walked in and stood at the front of the class followed immediately by what I could only describe as a large yellow octopus.

“Hello. How are you? Soooo, I’m the one who blew up the moon.” Correction a talking yellow octopus. Wait, what?  
‘Huh?’ Was the collective thought of the class.

“Next year I plan to do the same to planet earth. But never mind that now, I’m going to be your new teacher, isn’t that exciting.”  
The room of students sweat dropped. ‘There is so many things wrong with this picture.’ I blinked rapidly for a moment just to check that I wasn’t having a psychotic breakdown. Nope, seems legit. There is an oversized octopus that is bent on the destruction of earth standing in front of me, who also wants to teach… It shows a lot about my state of mind that I’m just gonna roll with this.

 

Thankfully one of the suits, who I’m assuming are government agents, stepped in before I started overanalysing my own mind. ‘Focus Eliza.’

“Uh I’m Karasuma I’m from the Military of Defence. What uh, what I’m about to tell you is what we in the business call classified. Oh hell I’ll just come right out with it. I’m gonna need you to kill this thing, for the sake of man-kind.” He gestured to the huge yellow thing beside him. Murmurs and exclamations of shock rippled through the room of students before someone, Mimura I think his name was, asked what we were all thinking.

“Eh, excuse me. No offence. Is this a joke? Cause if that’s the alien who blew up the moon-” The octopus didn’t seem to appreciate the polite inquiry and interrupted flailing.

“I am an earthling born and bred thank you very much!” ‘Really?’ the looks on my classmates faces seemed to say.

“I’m not at liberty to discuss the details at this juncture. I’ll just say he’s telling the truth. His threat is all too real. As of this coming March, he will obliterate the earth.” Karasuma confirmed. “Apart from you the only people who know this are world leaders. If word of this leaks out to the public we will have wide spread panic on our hands. He must be terminated soon, and with extreme prejudice. Which means you must become assassins.” He punctured the shocking statement by attempting to stab at the octopus who in turn dodged ridiculously fast. “Now, you’ll notice he’s incredibly fast, and for some reason he likes grooming eyebrows. IMACCULATELY!” he did not seem happy about this fact. “You’re looking at a being so powerful he can obliterate over half the moon in seconds, so fast he’s been clocked at mock 20, a world where he’s allowed to live is a world waiting to be destroyed plain and simple” The class was immensely tense after this announcement and several people appeared to be shaking. I fixed my eyes on the creature from my seat in the back row watching how he moved. 

 

‘I can’t even have one normal year.’ I sighed mentally not allowing my face to reflect my annoyance. Because that what this was, an annoyance. A dangerous and ultimately lethal one sure but it wasn’t like I hadn’t been in similar situations before. Though not in a classroom setting, that was definitely new.

“He makes it all sound so grim, doesn’t he.” Assured the octopus, “Cheer up. I’ve graciously made your government an offer. Stop making fools of yourselves trying to kill me I said, and let me teach class 3-E of this illustrious institution.”  
‘What the actual fuck?’ was the less than polite thought I deadpanned.

“We didn’t have much of a choice.” Informed an irritated Karasuma. “We have no idea what his motives are, but we agreed on the condition that none of you students will be harmed in any way. The advantage is twofold. On the one hand we’ll know his whereabouts a good portion of every weekday, which is something. On the other he’ll be in close range to 30 people with the means and incentive to kill him.”  
‘Oh yeah,’ I thought sarcastically, ‘there’s not way this could go tits up.

 

The agents brought in contracts for us all to sign and special knives, guns and ammunition we would be using as the octopus was apparently resistant to conventional weapons. At least there was less chance of someone losing a limb now. They left, but not before rendering us all mute by informing us of the 10-billion-yen reward money if we succeeded. I stared down at the plasticky knife in my hand and fought what would probably have become a manic grin. ‘I take it all back, this could be interesting.’

 

Everyone was on edge for the rest of the day, myself included. A few of the braver students took half-hearted attempts but nothing substantial happened until after our new teacher had left and we came up with an action plan. Our attempt at out numbering the target the next morning during rollcall unsurprisingly failed and the octopus, in answer to several queries about the effectiveness of our ammunition, shot off one of his tentacles before promptly growing a new one. I honed my gaze onto the newly reformed limb taking in as much information as I could.

 

I sat hunched over, plopped my chin down onto my hand and tuned out as the class started, it was English so I wasn’t worried it was the only class I excelled at seeing as I was from England itself. Not that I did all that badly at Japanese either, guess I just had a thing for languages. Instead of the lesson I opted to observe and analyse our teacher, boss battles always went better when you knew what you were up against. I jolted out of my thoughts as the bell rung in time to witness the target fly out the window and the large gust of air he kicked up doing so. I shook my head at the ridiculousness of the situation I was in, again, and proceeded to ignore the conversation taking place in the class until I felt a cloud of gloom spread across the room.

“Well, college wasn’t happening either way” I heard Okajima state. He wasn’t wrong. I’d missed two years of Junior high trapped in a game of death. Stating that you were a level 95 slayer of monsters wasn’t exactly something that would look great on a CV. So wrapped in my own depression I failed to noticed Terasaka, Muramatsu and Yoshida, or the three stooges as I had so fondly named them, leaving with Nagisa. Nagisa returned a little later and caught my eye. I sent him a small but genuine smile which he returned with interest and approached.

“Hey Eliza” greeted the small bluenette siting himself in the free seat to my right. My eyes scanned him automatically checking for threats and assessing his wellbeing. He looked as he always did soft features pulled into a smile, longer than average hair pulled into its usual twin tails, and dark blue waistcoat over his school shirt, not exactly school issue but it’s not like I could talk. Like on every other school day I wore the uniform of Kunugigaoka, a grey blazer over a white shirt hanging out over my grey skirt. Though that was where my adherence to the dress code ended. Instead of the mandated black flats I should be wearing were black laced up combat boots, under my skirt a light pair of black shorts kept any mishaps at bay, and the blood-red neckerchief, that matched my eyes nicely, I wore mostly hid my lack of a tie.

“How’s it going Nagisa?” The two of us had been friends since I joined Kunugigaoka near the end of second year and was placed in D-class with the androgynous male. We’d bonded over our hatred of maths and, at times, amusing observations of our classmates. Neither of us really had any close friends in the school but we weren’t particularly bothered by this as both of us were content in each other’s company. Lunch passed quickly though something seemed to be nagging at the short boy. I frowned mentally at his retreating back in concern and resolved to keep an eye on him just in case.

 

“Okay dokie. Your assignment this afternoon is to compose a short poem. The final line should read ‘was tentacles all along’.” I resisted the urge to bang my head against the desk but it was a near thing. Confusion seemed the prominent consensus throughout the students.

“Uh, excuse me sir. Really?” asked Kanzaki dubiously.

“Really.” he confirmed, “When you’ve completed the assignment, kindly bring it forward. You  
will be graded on creativity, grammar and over all beauty of expression.” The minute the octopus began giving an example I tuned out and tried to think, I wanted to leave sometime today after all. Not that the teacher slithering away at the front of the class was helping. Hearing Kayanos’ voice I looked up in time to see the tentacled teacher change from a light pink colour back to his usual yellow. I narrowed my eyes at him, and tilled my head almost unnoticeably in confusion at his response to the green haired girl.

“Um, trouble is I don’t have the kind of name you just give to people. Why not pick one for me?”

“What could go wrong?” asked Maehara sarcastically, and I fought down a smirk. I continued watching as the octopus turned pink again and took out a small dark brown leather-bound notebook from my blazer pocket and making a note that the colour change was not just a one-time thing and was in fact a pattern. By the time I’d looked up again Nagisa was walking towards the teacher with a knife concealed behind his assignment. I watched discretely but allowed for no change in expression, I didn’t want to tip the target off.  
He struck.

“What did I tell you about thinking outside the box?” The teacher berated. I sighed quietly. But before he could say anything more Nagisa had launched a… hug attack?  
‘I am seeing this right? Wait. There’s something around his neck.’ My eyes widened and I spotted Terasaka stand and press a trigger before I could move. BANG! The grenade around Nagisa’s neck exploded and pellets pelted out shooting off in every direction. I ducked behind my desk as cries of alarm sounded from those closest to the front.

 

I could barely hear the cheers of delight coming from the idiot trio despite them passing right by me. I rose from my chair and could vaguely see Nagisa’s still form lying on the ground.

“You jerks!”

“What the hell have you done?” yelled… someone. I wasn’t sure who. I couldn’t hear the explanation from Terasaka, over the blood pounding in my ears. I could see Kayano stand as the smoke cleared. Rage flooded my mind as I charged forward. Upon reaching the three boys, I grabbed the two toned Terasaka by the collar of his shirt and threw him with, to him, surprising force against the black board. Getting in his face, still with a tight grip on his collar. I could feel my own bloodlust heavy and pulsating, black wings of anger wrapping around me casting shadows over the others.

“WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU MORONS THINKING?” I yelled. The class was unsurprisingly silent, no one had ever heard me so much as speak out in class unless forced to, but at the moment I couldn’t have given less of a shit. Terasaka was startled and clearly a little afraid of the fierceness in my voice.

“It wasn’t enough to kill anybody. I’ll even pitch in on his medical bills.” He argued grabbing the wrist of the hand that still held him. I probably would have punched the idiot if he hadn’t paused looking at something over my shoulder confused.

“Uh, he doesn’t even have a mark on him. And what the hell is that membrane?” he remarked as I peered over my own shoulder to see what he was talking about. “Did the body-”

“It’s not a body, it’s a husk, I shed my skin once a month.” I let the taller boy go, shocked by the voice, and turned around in time to see Nagisa sit up and break through the husk. “I wrapped it around your class mate to protect him from the blast.” The class seemed to look up as one. There, on the ceiling above the group still standing, was a red eyed pitch-black monster. I tensed, eyes widening minutely as though trying to take in as much information as possible, but otherwise showed no outward reaction to the terrifying aura sweeping the classroom. I’d faced more than my fair share of monster in my time, no way was I about to show weakness to another. “I’m gonna go out on a limb here and assume you didn’t see this coming.” Judging by the ‘I’m about to piss my pants’ look on the three boys faces, he’d hit the nail on the head. The room seemed to darken. “Terasaka. Yoshida. Muramatsu.” He growled out. ‘Welp, he’s not a happy bunny.’ I thought backing away from the doomed trio and closer to Nagisa who was still on the floor. “This was your doing wasn’t it.”

“Who us?”

“It was all Nagisa” I resisted the urge to growl at them and kept my eyes on the monster. A huge gust of air ratted through the room as the target sped off only to return seconds later with…

“The name plate off my house!” exclaimed Terasaka shakily. In our teachers’ arms sat the name plate off each of the students houses. I spotted my own amongst the pile.

“Here’s the deal kiddos. The agreement I have with your government forbids me from harming you. But, there’s a catch. If you pull another irresponsible stunt like that again… there’s nothing that says I can’t harm someone else. Family, friends, everyone in the world except for you if I feel like it.” The entire class was frozen in fear, several of the girls were whimpering and almost everyone looked torn between crying and pissing themselves, most especially the three stooges. Terasakas’ voice startled them all.

“Go on, threaten us. I ain’t afraid of no squid. Where do you get off blow up the moon, we got rights you know? Call us irresponsible we’re just defending ourselves.” He yelled pointing at the octopus. As though a switch was flipped the dark oppressive atmosphere of the room was gone in an instant and instead of the pitch-black monster instead stood our teacher with a red face with a large darker red circle on it as though we’d got a question right in a pop quiz.

“Of course. I know that. I’m not calling you irresponsible for trying to kill me. No no no. As a matter of fact, Nagisa here gets full marks for technique. His composure was simply outstanding.” The octopus reassured patting Nagisa on the head fondly before pointing and the three stooges making them jump. “However. None of you cared if he was injured, not even Nagisa himself it seems. Students with that attitude aren’t fit to assassinate anyone.” He turned purple with a large dark X and the three seemed genuinely upset with themselves. Either that or they were still shitting bricks from before. I was betting the later. Turning to the class he continued. “You must believe yourself worthy of your target. That means taking pride in what you do, in yourselves and each other. All of you are more than the sum of your parts.” It was a strangely moving speech from someone who had just threatened to kill our friends and families. I turned to help Nagisa up off the ground giving him a small smile as the others sat down. The octopus turned to face us, then looking at Nagisa said, “Here’s a puzzler for you Nagisa. Given that I have no intention of being killed, though of course I have every intention of enjoying our time together before the planet goes kerplowie, what exactly are you going to do about it?” I watched as my sky eyed friend paused for a moment before smiling dangerously at the teacher.

“I think you’ll find I can do plenty sir. Just you wait and see.”  
‘Uh. That was actually kinda badass. Go Nagisa I have taught you well.’ The teachers face turned green striped and he laughed.

“That’s the spirit. No-one leaves until I am vanquished.” Protests instantly erupted from the rest of the class and I smirked slightly before forming my usual carefully blank expression.

“You okay?” I whispered, still concerned. Nagisa looked at me surprised for a moment before smiling and giving a quick nod. “Good.” We walked to our seats but before I could take more than a couple of steps I heard my name called out and turned.

“Eliza.” Called out the octopus. “As much as I’m heartened by your worry for your classmate, could you express it in a less violent way next time.” I regarded the creature before me with calculating eyes unknowingly sending cold shivers down its back which were carefully hidden. I tilted my head dark purple bangs almost covering one eye despite my hairs long-platted state, a small smirk graced my lips, eyes slightly chilly.

“No promises.” I responded less than reassuringly, before turning and continuing back to my seat.

 

Mutters had filled the room as the students tried to work out how to quickly kill off their teacher. But from every seat in the class Nagisa’s voice was clearly heard as he said,

“Korosensei? That feels right.” The octopus, now known as korosenei, also clearly heard pausing in his cleaning of the house name plates to look over at the green and blue duo talking. His smile seemed softer, I noted pulling out my assassination notebook determined to write down everything I could about what had just transpired. Who knew what might become useful.


	2. Time for murder

I suppressed a yawn as I disembarked the train. I had managed maybe 4 hours sleep last night, coupled with the 3 from the night before and it was safe to say I was tired. Not exhausted but tired all the same. I was used to going days without sleep when I had to and frankly a regular sleeping pattern was not an easy thing to acquire. I fiddled with my skirt a little making sure it covered the anti-sensei knife and gun I had strapped to my left and right legs respectively. I ignored the overly loud mutters and whispers of the main campus morons as I passed the school gates but quickened my pace when I spotted Nagisa waving at me next to Sugino from the bottom of the hill that led to the E class building.

I nodded in greeting as I caught up and we began our ascension. I remained silent as the two bluenettes discussed Suginos’ soon to be attempt at Korosensei. We were all panting by the time we’d reached the summit. Back in Aircrad Kirito, Asuna and I would have made easy work of the climb in record time and with energy to spare, and while muscle memory had transferred a lot of useful skills from SAO to real life stamina was definitely not one of them.  
‘I guess two years in a coma would kill anyones endurance levels. Not Agils though, that guys a freaking beast.’

“Hey Eliza, we’re heading out to the clearing so I can take a shot at Korosensei. You wanna come?”

“Sure.” I agreed shaking away the memories that were threatening to pull me in.

 

We dropped off our bags in class and made our way to an open area not far into the forest as quietly as we could. Well I was quiet the other two not so much. We hid behind a tree a little away from where I could see our teacher relaxing on a sun lounger reading the paper.

“10 billion big here I come.” Declared the taller boy as he got into a throwing stance. ‘It’s not fast enough.’ I thought as I watched the BB imbued baseball soar through the air.

“Top of the morning to ya.” I jerked around my hand automatically twitching to where I wore my sword in Aincrad. ‘I hope no one saw that.’ I mentally swore.

“It’s usually considered polite to reply.”

“Uh, yes sir, sorry sir. Good morning sir.” Nagisa stuttered out as Sugino flicked his head back and forth between where korosensei had been and where he was now. I offered a quiet “Good morning.” Out of politeness and stood back to watch whatever would happen next.

“A baseball imbedded with government issued anti-me BBs. Creative. Points for choosing a method of delivery quieter than the pop of a standard issue air-riffle, unfortunately once air-born the weapon gave me nothing but time. Ample opportunity in fact to organise a defensive minuver. A quick visit to the equipment room and I had, tada, a, pardon the pun, a handy solution.” Sure enough in one baseball gloved tentacle sat Suginos, slightly smoking, ball. I felt my left eye twitch at the terrible pun but ignored my irritation. The others sweat dropped at the now yellow and green teacher. “Tick tock children graduation will be here before you know it. Right then, homeroom if you would please.” He turned and slithered away as the bell rang.

“Yes sir.” Sugino sighed sounding thoroughly dejected. “Damn it. So much for my fast ball, big shock there I guess.”

“It was a good throw.” Nagisa assured.

 

The walk back to class was solemn with Sugino up front and Nagisa and I walking a little behind comparing our notes, with Nagisa sneaking glances at our down-trodden classmate. Neither of us had much, but considering it had only been a couple of days I wasn’t overly concerned.

 

Classes proceeded normally as the day went on and as usual lunch started off with a violent gust of air as korosensei took off, this time to New York to watch a baseball game. Ironic I guess. ‘Or maybe not.’ Before my line of thought could continue however the door at the front of the classroom slid open and in walked the agent from the day before. Karasuma, that was it.

“Children. Any progress on dealing with the tentacled menace.” ‘He has got to be kidding. It’s been a day for fucks sake.’

“Define progress.” Spoke Nagisa. ‘Yeah you tell him blue.’ The mood immediately became sombre.

“Yeah this E class yo, you gotta lower your expectations.” Remarked Hazama leaning back in her chair.

“All due respect sir, he’s too quick.” Continued Isogai. Mimura took over,

“Like so quick you cant even see him sometimes. You said so yourself he tops out at Mach 20, how do we kill something like that?”

“I don’t know. But you kids had better figure it out.” Agent K reminded us.

“Seriously?” questioned Okajima.

“Seriously.” Damn this guy showed less emotion than me, Hayami and Chiba combined. Or would that be subtracted. “You’re the only hope we’ve got. He teaches willingly, putting himself in the line of fire by choice.” Several of the students sighed at the frank reminder but I couldn’t help but lean forward slightly searching every word for more information. “If we allow that creature to live come March Earth will be totally annihilated. And in case you need a reminder of how powerful he is take a look at our moon, that’ll be our planet in a year. In short he’s to dangerous to take lightly, that’s why this classroom is the last stand between mankind and extinction.” ‘Well at the very least it’ll be an interesting year for sure.’

 

Karasuma left soon after his dramatic speech. Nagisa and I ate in silence to tense from the encounter to make idle chitchat, and simply watched the interactions of those around us.

“Hey I need to turn in my English homework I’ll be back in a bit.” I nodded at my smaller friend before pausing to rummage through my bag a little and pulled out my own copy of the homework.

“Opps?” Nagisa laughed lightly at my sheepish look as we stood and silently exited the classroom. The bluenette stopped in the hallway and approached the window. Outside on the steps sat Sugino and korosensei.

“That’s weird what do they have to take about?” he pondered aloud.

“Maybe they’re comparing haircare products.” I snarked letting my lips twitch up into a smile  
now that we were alone. Nagisa snorted, then both our eyes widened in shock.

“Holy crap, he’s ticked off he tried to kill him.” ‘I doubt it.’ My mind replied as we both sped down the hallway and outside. “Now he’s literally up in arms.” He gasped as we watched our classmate struggle against the tentacles holding him aloft. Again, my left eye twitched. Nagisa bolted once again down the hill towards the chaos. I sighed and took the stairs at a more relaxed pace as I listened to my friend trying to reason with our teacher.

“Ah ha I knew I recognised that pitching style. You were imitating lead pitcher Arita. These tentacles never lie.” Assured korosensei as he set Sugino back on the ground and the two of us approached him, Nagisa a little in front and my neutral mask back in place. “Your shoulders are significantly less flexible than your idols I’m afraid.” The baseball fanatic kid stiffened as though struck.

“Was exactly are you trying to say?” he demanded.

“That the famous Arita fastball that you’re trying so hard to copy is simply never going to be your thing.” I hid a wince as Sugino fell back onto the ground devastated and watched Nagisa closely as the air around him darkened.

“That just not fair. You don’t know, how could you that’s ridiculous. You can’t just.” He was practically shaking as Sugino tried to calm him down glancing over at me for help. I continued to watch impassively, it was best he let it all out now rather than later. “I get why even bother, we’re just E class right? We’re just a bunch of losers and lost causes.” He was yelling by the end of his rant. But korosensei remained calm and pulled something from his sleeve.

“You misunderstand me, I base this entirely on first hand experience. First through eighth hand experience!” he exclaimed excitedly showing off a news paper showing a baseball player ‘up in arms’ as Nagisa would say. Or rather tentacles.

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?” the two boys yelled as I stared at the picture in disbelief.

“I even got his autograph.” He wept in joy. ‘Knock it off, Tentacles! – Arita’ read the piece of paper.

“You actually asked him for an autograph after you assaulted him?” questioned a shocked Nagisa.

“This is gonna be our whole year isn’t?” I asked a half stunned Sugino as korosensei continued to weep.

“He’s right though some of us are born with talent some of us not so much.” He sighed.

“Talent is relative. Aritas wrists and elbows aren’t as flexible as yours. Like I said these tentacles don’t lie, given enough time you could become just as good a player, if not better and besides why settle for being an imitation. Next time try assassinating me in your own style.” 

“My own style huh?” I heard Sugino mutter as I watched our teachers retreating form. Turning to Nagisa we both nodded and sped after him, we still had to hand in our assignments.

“Excuse me sir?” Nagisa called out as korosensei reached the staff room. He paused and turned to us as we pulled to a stop in front of him. “Did you really fly all the way to New York to give Sugino a piece of advice?”

“Why not? I’m his teacher.” he asked back.

“Well its just that most teachers I know wouldn’t go that far for a student and I mean here you are planning to blow up the planet by the time we graduate and all that.”

“It does seem rather counterproductive.” I added eyes fixed intently of the targets features.

“Nagisa. Eliza. The details aren’t important lets just say I’m here to make good on a promise, one I don’t take lightly.” ‘Finally we’re getting somewhere. Though I have no clue where this crazy train is headed.’ He snatched up our assignments as he continued talking. “The Earth will be destroyed yes, but my first priority is to you and your classmates. Nothing beats giving you kids the credit your due, not even me blowing up the earth.” We took our graded booklets back as he finished his little speech. It was a good speech and all, except…

“Korosensei. Could you maybe not write problems like this on the back of our tests.” 

“Whaaa?” cue madly flailing tentacles.

“Yeah. We get it your fast no need to go on about it.” I continued from my blue-eyed accomplice smirking somewhat.

“Aww it was just a bonus question.” The teacher sulked.

“Honestly sir it feels more like a penalty.” He deadpanned and my smirk grew.

“I- yeah. Well. Anyway, I hope my students take assassinating me as seriously as I take their education. Not that you’ll ever pull it off of course. Nufufufuf.” I raised an eyebrow. ‘Subject change much there teach.’ I mentally snarked as said teacher munched on a red pen.

 

I sat on the steps behind Nagisa out the front of the E class building as he helped Sugino work on his new pitch. I was working on a particularly difficult maths problem when I sensed something rushing towards me. My eyes and hand darted up before I had time to think and I felt a pain in my raised hand. I glanced at my sore and now occupied hand which held Suginos baseball.

“Eliza are you alright?” “Holy crap, are you okay? I’m so sorry-” I cut them both off before they could work themselves into more of a panic.

“I’m alright don’t worry about it.” I gave them a miniscule smile, careful not to show any teeth, and softened my dark eyes making them appear lighter easing the tension out of their shoulders and handed back the ball.

“If you’re sure?” checked Sugino, I nodded and he relaxed completely. He turned and called out for korosensei so he could take a few pot shots at him. Nagisa glanced at me frowning. I winked at him making him huff out a slight laugh and jerked my head in the universal sign of go on, you know you want to. He sent me one last grin and jogged off to where Sugino and korosensei were. I glanced down at my hand and flexed it carefully. It was rather red and would probably be stiff tomorrow, but it wasn’t bad. I’d certainly had worse. I put my books away and let my hand rest while watching the assassination attempt going on.  
‘At least my reflexes are still good.’ I reflected my eyes dancing with hidden mirth at the sight before me. ‘It’ll sure as hell come in handy around here.’

 

The next morning E class was greeted with the sight of korosensei frantically planting bulbs in the flower garden under the strict supervision of Kataoka and Okano standing over him.

“What the hell did I miss?” I questioned stepping up next to Kayano, Sugino and Nagisa. The three jumped not having noticed my approach.

“Oh hey Eliza.” Greeted Nagisa. “Ah korosensei messed up the flower garden so he’s trying to fix it.”

 

I watched blankly sometime later as my fellow students stabbed and shot at our teacher. Our teacher, who was tied up, hanging and swinging from a tree branch.

“This is painful to watch.” I muttered and walked off following Kayano to the equipment shed. 

“Need a hand?” I asked coming up behind her hunched form struggling to pick up all the spears she had made with bamboo and anti-sensei knifes. She jumped for the second time that day and I smothered a grin.

“Ugh, you’re gonna give me a heart attack.” She exadurated clutching her chest. “But yes please.” We gathered the necessary weapons and jogged back outside just in time to greet agent Karasuma. ‘Oh come on, not another check-up.’ I moaned in my head.

“Hey Mr Karasuma. What are you doing here?” asked Kayano still happily jogging on the spot. I stood to her right as we paused in our trek.

“New job assignment. As of tomorrow I join the faculty. As a PE teacher.” He informed us.

“Oh that sounds cool.” 

“It should be fun yeah.” I raised a brow.

“Then we get to call you Professor Karasuma from now on.” ‘Ugh, mouthful. I’m just calling this guy Professor K or Mr K or something.’ To Professor K’s credit he didn’t so much as twitch at the overly enthusiastic girl beside me, nor at my stubborn silence.

"Where is your target now?"

“Apologising. He messed up our tulips so he’s reduced his speed and he’s letting us all take whacks at him.” She replied. I could hear running behind me and glanced over my should in time to witness Okajima run off with more rope. I nudged the greenette girl.

“We should get these to the others.” I reminded.

“Right.” She chirped jogging off again. Prof K and I following at a more sedated speed.

 

“Isn’t he totally the coolest teacher ever or what?” Kayano remarked as we watched the chaos unfolding before us. “So uh, any luck yet?” she asked sliding up next to Nagisa. I followed standing on her other side.

“Uh no. This is pretty much all a game to him.” he replied blankly.

“This is not what the Ministry of Defence has in mind.” Prof K twitched from my other side.

“Hey, hang on a minute. There’s bound to be a corresponding weakness.” Nagisa deduced pulling our his not book. I was tempted to do the same but most over our notes were similar anyway so I elected to observe the scene instead.

 

‘Even with reduced speed nothing was hitting our target he was just to fast. Alright so if we can’t manipulate the boss then what about the battleground. The rope was tight enough that he wouldn’t slip out even with how fast he was going. But that speed would put a ton of strain on the tree branch.’ I looked up and sure enough the branch supporting korosenseis’ weight was about ready to break. I reached for my gun before switching and grabbing my knife instead. I wasn’t confident about my aim with a gun but I knew I could hit my mark with a knife. I blinked and time seemed to slow. The branch broke as predicted as I pulled back my knife and launched it forward to where I thought he would land. Everything returned to normal at the thunk of korosensei landing. Everyone had stopped moving and was staring.

“Is that…” someone muttered. Lying on the ground sat one knife and a tentacle.

“HUH?!” screeched the octopus examining the severed limb.

“KILL HIM!” the class yelled and chased after the teacher who began frantically rolling away.

“Wow nice shot Eliza.” I turned to the bluenette and smiled a little. 

“Well your notes are bound to come in handy at some point.” Kayano assured us.

“Right that’s why I’m jotting everything down.” Nagisa agreed. I nodded my agreement. We watched as our teacher launched himself up onto the roof of one of the outbuildings and declared that we would have extra homework before rushing off. As rest of the class celebrated their sort of victory and went and collected my previously thrown knife. As I straightened, I could have sworn I felt someone softly pat my head, but looking around I saw no one. I allowed myself a small smile before heading back over to Nagisa and Kayano.

“So what do you think do we stand a decent chance?” asked Kayano.

“Oh yeah, no doubt. At least I hope so or its going to be a really awkward graduation ceremony.” Nagisa replied and I snorted as we headed to class.

 

Before leaving for the day I stopped by the equipment shed and picked up a few spare anti-sensei knifes. My throw from before had been a little off I’d been aiming to take out two or three of the octopus’s tentacles. The knife wasn’t what I was used to so I was planning to make my own set of anti-sensei throwing knifes which should be more effective. I exited the shed and set off home alone have told Nagisa not to wait up. ‘Training with Mr K would start tomorrow.’ I thought grinning. ‘At the very least he can’t be any worse than korosensei.’


	3. Karma comes around

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgot to mention this previously:
> 
> "Speaking Japanese"  
> 'Thoughts'  
> "[Speaking English]"  
> "{Speaking Russian}"

PE the next day was dull, in a monotonous swinging of knives kind of way. An echo 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 rang through the air as the class practiced drills. I panted lightly, arms burning, not yet used to movement this strenuous. ‘Damn, if Klein could see me now he’d be laughing his ass off.’ Gritting my teeth, I bore with it. ‘That’s it I’m hitting the gym later. I hate being weak.’

“Ah, the sounds of a choreographed exercise regiment echoing across the fields on a golden afternoon. So peaceful, so militant.” I heard korosensei remark. I couldn’t help but agree. Despite the tiredness of my limbs and lungs, it was strangely relaxing, though that probably spoke more about my mental state than anything else.

“Make those knives sing. Treat every move like a legit kill strike.” Karasuma instructed. “You’re in the way here pal, Phys ed is my department now.” he directed at the other teacher without looking away from us.

“But-but I’m lonely.” The octopus whined.

“Find something else to do then. Like, I don’t know, there’s a sand box, have a field day.”  
“You don’t have to be so insensitive.” He cried and I tried not to grin at the scene. “The students liked it better when I was their gym coach anyhow.” Karasuma motioned for us to take a break and we stopped getting our breath back.

“Yeah, not so much. No offence or anything it just when it comes to exercise you-“

“-set the bar kinda high.” Corrected Sugaya and Sugino from near the front.

“That’s an understatement.” I muttered snarkily, my mind going back to our previous gym class.

“Like we could keep up with that.” Agreed Nakamura thinking along the same lines.

“We’re human being you know, I for one, think our coach should be too.” Sugino continued.

“Gahahahah!” Cue the sight of the over-grown octopus weeping without dignity.

 

“Right, back to work people.” Ordered Mr K.

“Can I ask an obvious question, sir?” Maehara interrupted before we could continue. “If there’s an actual point to this training, should ah, should we really be practicing right in front of our target?”

“Whether killing or studying its the same principle. Drill the basics, and they’ll serve you well.” He lectured. “Isogai. Maehara. Step up. I want you to try and tag me with those knives.”

“Wait. Like, as a team?” “Do you think that’s a good idea?” They questioned dubiously. ‘Don’t be ridiculous. He wouldn’t be here if he couldn’t handle a couple of untrained teenagers.’

“The blades are harmless, they weren’t designed to injure human beings.” Mr K reminded. Unconcerned, he loosened his tie. “Tell you what, manage to hit me and you can go home for the day.” The two exchanged uncertain glances and I mentally sniggered at what was to come.

“Uh, okay. Well here goes nothing.” They got into position and were instantly on the offence as Isogai lunged at the coach, however a slight dodge to the left sent Isogai sprawling behind him. Maehara tensed and went in for his own attack but Karasuma parried and pushed him to the side as Isogai came at him once more. The two boys’ attacks were continuously dodged and parried as Mr K spoke to the class.

“See that kids, even with the bare minimum know how, I could practically dodge their attacks in my sleep. They’ve got no technique.” The duo struck again but Karasuma simply yanked on their wrists sending them to the ground. “If you can’t land a hit against a guy like me, you haven’t got a prayer against a target whose top speed is Match 20. See, we’ve been sparing for half a minute and look, he’s had time to change clothes, make tea and build a model of Asoka castle.”

“That is so irritating.” Someone muttered.

“That is why we drill. Once the whole class can hit me you have a shot. Do what I tell you, as often as I tell you to do it, you’ll become assassins.” He pulled the two boys two their feet and turned to face the rest of the class, fixing his tie. “This isn’t recess kids. From now on gym class will be about the basics. Stabbing, correct use of fire arms, everything you need to succeed. All right that ought to do it for today.”

“Thank you, sir.” We chorused and bowed.

 

We started to split up into groups chatting about the lesson and headed back to class when we heard the bell ring. I tuned out whatever Sugino was complaining about as I felt eyes on our group. Looking up I could see a red-haired figure in school clothes and a black blazer at the top of the steps. Beside me Nagisa followed my gaze and screeched to a stop alongside me.

“Nagisa, hey. What’s up?” greeted the unknown male. “It’s been a while.”

“Karma. You’re back.” I glanced between the two. ‘So, this is Karma uh? Nagisa’s only really mentioned him in passing. I wonder if he’s as clever as I’ve heard.’ I pondered.

“Oh, hey. That must be the notorious Korosensei. Wow, he really does look like an octopus.” He spoke lazily walking past us. My eyes followed not breaking contact for a second. If he really was as clever as I suspected, then he almost definitely had something up his sleeve.

“Ah, Mr Akabane correct? I understand your suspension ends today. Welcome back. That said, tardiness is a no no.” Welcomed korosensei, forming a purple crossed face during the end of his greeting. The red-head laughed.

“It’s kinda tricky getting back into the swing of things. Oh, feel free to call me by my first name. Anyway, I’ve heard some good things teach, it’s nice to meet cha.” He held out a hand. My eyes narrowed.

“Pleasures all mine. Should be a fun and educational year.” Agreed the octopus taking the offered limb.

 

And then his tentacle exploded.

 

A knife slipped out of Karmas’ sleeve and he grabbed it disregarding his juice box and slashing at korosensei as the other dodged backwards a safe distance.

“Huh, you are fast aren’t cha. And who’d have thought these knifes actually work. I just cut one up and tacked it on. Pretty elementary stuff chief, I’m disappointed that that’s all it took to catch you by surprise. But good jump, if you don’t mind coming off like a scaredy cat.” Taunted Karma quite calmly. He loped towards the teacher his hands in his pockets. “What, you scared of me? I heard they call you Korosensei cause you’re supposed to be unkillable.” The octopus took a step back as Karma leaned into his personal space. “Oh, come on. No way you can be this big of a push over.” Korosenseis’ face instantly turned a dark shade of red as he began to tremble in suppressed anger.

“Hey, Nagisa. What kind of person is this Karma guy?” I heard Kayano ask. Keeping my eyes trained on the duo facing off I listened in to here what the bluenette had to say.

“He and I were in the same class our first and second year. He was violent, so violent they finally expelled him, shipped him here. E class is where they send you when they don’t know what else to do with you. Thing is, under the circumstances, he may end up a star student.” He explained as the red-haired menace made his way back towards us.

“Huh? What do you mean?” Kayano questioned confused.

“Weapons and blood are his passion. Trust me, if anyone can kill our teacher it’s Karma.” I ignored the contemplative glance he gave me, as though he was mentally adding, ‘or Eliza.’ Kayano and Sugino seemed to catch the look as well, and looked between me and the new comer as though assessing who was the bigger threat.

 

The next class included a pop quiz so the room was bathed in silence, broken only by the rhythmic squish, squish of Korosenseis’ tentacle punching the wall. I discreetly noted the softness of the targets punches in my notebook and turned back to my quiz and attempting to ignore the annoying sound. My attention, however, couldn’t help but be captured by the human embodiment of mischief who was lounging casually beside me. Karma was sitting in the only unoccupied seat in the room, which of course, just happened to be right next to mine. I could see some of the others sporadically looking back at us. Between the distractions and the difficulty of the test, it was safe to say I was not doing very well. ‘If he doesn’t stop that gonna cut that tentacle back off.’ My right gripped my pen harshly as I glared coldly at the octopuses’ back. I was tempted to unsheathe my bloodlust, if only to watch him squirm, but refrained. I could practically feel the bristling of large black feathers.

“OKAY, THAT’S ENOUGH! COULD YOU MAYBE STOP THAT, WE’RE TRYING TO TAKE A QUIZ HERE!” Okano shouted from the front row, the irritation finally getting to her. I smirked as the teacher fumbled around apologising.

“You sure you know what you’re getting yourself into Karma? The jellyfish is sincerely pissed off at you.” I heard Terasaka question a few seats to my right. My ears perked up interested.

“Yeah, you couldn’t pay me enough to be in your shoes.” Agreed Yoshida a few seats forward.

“If I was you, I’d stay at home with my head under a pillow.” Muramatsu finished. Karma simply smiled nonplussed.

“Course he’s pissed, who wouldn’t be if someone made an attempt on their life.” He replied. ‘That’s not why he’s pissed pal.’ I thought. “Less the would-be assassin screwed up and pissed himself in the process.” I looked up at the now pissed off Terasaka and smirked as he glanced my way making him shiver and his expression falter.

“I didn’t piss myself! That attitudes gonna get your ass kicked.”

“Quiet please! No noise during a quiz! Continue to talk and I will assume that you are cheating.” reprimanded the octopus.

“Sorry Korosensei, my bad.” The mock innocence in Karmas voice putting me on edge. “No worries though, I’m already finished. I’m just gonna eat this gelato if that’s okay.” Sure enough he pulled out a pink gelato from under his desk.

“Not so fast, no eating in class. Hey, wait a minute, that’s the gelato I brought back from Italy yesterday!” My eyebrow twitched up. ‘Of course it is.’

“Oh, sorry, my bad. I just saw it chilling in the faculty lounge.”

“This won’t do young man, I flew through the coldest part of the stratosphere to keep that delicious treat from melting.”

“Oh yeah. So what are you going to do, hit me?” he taunted turning the teacher red once more. ‘Ah, so that’s your aim. Psychological attacks. You wanna break him before you kill him. Well, aren’t you the little sadist?’ Piecing together the gold-eyed boys’ goal.

“Of course not. I’ll simply have it back and finish what’s left thank you very much.” Pop! ‘Welp, there goes another tentacle.’ I appraised, scrutinizing the blown off tentacle amidst the scattered BBs. BANG! BANG! BANG! Karma had unloaded three shots at Korosensei in rapid fire and stood.

“Wow, that’s twice in one day teach.” He grabbed his quiz paper and began walking down the isle of desks gun still pointed at the teacher. “I’m gonna keep pulling the same old tricks, class’ll get interrupted, our grades will slip. Let’s be straight up though, if you want this to stop you can just kill me or anyone else in this class of that matter.” He plunged the gelato into Korosenseis’ chest as though it were a blade. “You’ve just got to let go of want us to see you as our teacher. Give us a taste of your ugly side. Our you can make piece with all this, accept that I’ll be the one to kill you.” He pushed past the teacher and let his quiz paper go forcing Korosensei to catch it. “Here’s my quiz. Easy peasy. Peace out teach, what do you say we play again tomorrow.” He left, letting the door side shut and a silently stunned class of students behind him.

 

Nagisa and I bid Sugino farewell as we reached the train station.

“Are you kidding me?”

“Is that actually Nagisa? Oh, and the mute. Look at those guys, all cosy with the E class dumbasses.” I turned as Nagisa stiffened beside me.

“EW, gross. I’ve gotta hand it to them. They’ve adapted to the crowd they’re going to spend the rest of their lives with.” The speakers were two D class students that Nagisa and I had had the misfortune of being in the same class as in second year. I had spoken even less back then than I did now hence their genius idea of nick naming me mute. I stared blankly at them, not blinking. They looked away freaked out, but continued talking all the same.

“Hey, did you here, now that his suspensions over, they shoved that Akabane nut over to E class.” Gossiped the fat one that shall be hereby known as tweedled-dumb.

“Ohh, no kidding, I’d rather be dead than stuck in a classroom with that freak.” Tweedled-dee remarked. I had noticed Karma loitering near by earlier and smirked as he smashed a glass bottle on the pillar tweedled-dumb had been leaning against. They gasped and cowered at the taller boys’ sudden appearance. He levelled the broken bottle at them.

“Seriously, cause I can help you out with that. It’d be messy but real quick.” I grinned sadistically and sensed Nagisas’ sweat drop at Karma and I.

“I’d rather live thanks!” “Run away!” Karma laughed and turned to us as they ran away. My earlier amusement at the scene was already hidden behind my usual emotionless façade. Nagisa made his way over and I followed just slightly behind.

“Like I’d actually do anything, right?”

“Uh, hey.” Greeted Nagisa awkwardly. Karmas’ smile became a little more genuine I noticed.

“Yeah, hey Nagisa. Who’s your friend?” Nagisa glanced between the two of us.

“Oh, uh, this is Reid Eliza. Eliza this is Akabane Karma.” I nodded to the red-head.

“Sup, nice to meet a friend of Nagisas’.” His smile was friendly but his eyes were trying to calculate whether or not I was a threat. I repressed a smirk and sent him a small close-lipped smile instead, allowing my eyes to reflex my own calculations. He grinned. I turned to my small blue friend.

“I like this one, can we keep him?” Nagisas’ face instantly went red as Karmas’ hair as said boy laughed gaining attention.

“You’re insane.” He remarked, still blushing. I patted his soft blue hair gently smiling.

“Thank you for noticing.” Nagisa shook his head smiling fondly and Karma smirked at the interaction.

“Is it cool if I pick your brain for a sec?” Red asked turning back to blue.

 

“Word is that you’ve been keeping notes on the octopus.” Karma voiced as we made our way through the station.

“Uh, well. Yeah, I kind have. Eliza too, we’ve been trading information.” Answered Nagisa. I nodded my own confirmation.

“Does he hate that nick name? us calling him octopus, I mean.” He directed the question at both of us, clearly happy enough that he was getting two info brokers for one. ‘Ugh, it’s a shame Argo isn’t here, she’d be much better at this I am. I might ask her for a few pointers.’ 

“Now that you mention it, whenever he draws himself it’s always as an octopus-”

“And the skin he picks for his character in every video game-” I continued.

“And there’s this thing he does in the sand box.”

“Yeah… That one’s just weird though.” I stated, left eye twitching, Nagisa nodded his agreement.

“So, no. I don’t think he minds at all. In fact, I think it’s like his personal avatar or whatever, you know. He loves it.” The bluenette summarised as we waited on the train platform.

“Does he? That’s good, oh this is gonna be freaking epic.” Karma chuckled.

“I know that look. You’re cooking up something really dark.”

“I might be. It’s fun right. I was into this when I thought he was just a monster but, now I know what his personality is like…” He turned to face us smile wide and eyes manic. A train rushed by catching his blazer and hair in a rush of air serving to emphasize the dangerous gleam in his eyes. “I finally get to kill an honest to goodness teacher. I’ve been dreaming of this, ever since my last teacher up and died.”

 

We went our separate ways soon after, each heading to our respective homes. I unlock the door to my uncles flat and quickly scan the room for any sign of him. It was empty. Big surprise there. I’d lived with my uncle since I was 9 due to some… unfortunate circumstances. It’d been fine, up until the SAO incident. He didn’t seem to know how to handle it. I couldn’t really blame him for that, I’d come back after two years a completely different person, we all had. He spent most of the time working these days so I didn’t see him much, and when I did, he was usually drunk. He’d picked up the bottle during my time in Aincrad and was unable to put it back down. I’d often come home to him rampaging around the living-room or passed out on the bathroom floor. On those days I’d climb the fire escape and sneak in through the window to my room, bypassing any interactions until it was safe. Today however, was thankfully safe. I beelined straight to my room closing and locking the door behind me. I dug out my homework and powered up my laptop. Bringing up skype, I called the usual gang of crazies and got to work as we chatted about our day. A full and genuine smile graced my features as I listened to Kirito and Klein snipe at each other as the others sighed or laughed. ‘Who needs an uncle anyway, I’ve got my family right here.’

“Hey, Argo, mind giving me a hand with something?”

 

The atmosphere in class the next morning was tense. An octopus, the ocean kind not the teacher kind, was pinned to the teachers’ desk at the front of the class. ‘Karmas’ doing, definitely.’ I reasoned, spotting the self-satisfied smirk he wore.

“Good morning boys and girls.” Korosensei acknowledged upon entering the class. The solemn atmosphere didn’t budge an inch. “Why the long faces? Has something hap-” he stopped abruptly, finally noticing the deceased sea creature.

“Oops, that’s on me.” Karma pipped up cheerfully. “Yeah, I totally though it was you, innocent mistake. I stabbed it so I guess I should get rid of it?” The teacher sighed.

“Yes, you should.” The octopus picked up the smaller octopus in his tentacle and approached Karma. Korosensei stopped a little before reaching the back row and my eyes widened as several of his tentacles turned into drills before rushing away and back again within a second now holding a missile and several ingredients.

“Observe if you will Karma my boy, the versatility of these tentacles and the fire power of this missile yonked from the Self Defence Force.” Moving almost too fast to comprehend, he began prepping and cooking some sort of meal with the octopus. “If you think I’m gonna let the new kid away with murder, think again.” Something was plopped into Karmas’ open mouth and he instantly spat it out. “Don’t you know breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Your complexion tells me you haven’t eaten, so please, help yourself so some of this delicious takoyaki, I insist.” He held out some of the food and my stomach grumbled lowly, I hadn’t eaten yet either having rushed out the flat so to avoid my uncle. “See, I’m a giver, I take care of things. Hungry students, would be assassins, troubled teens. Every attempt on my life is an opportunity for me to play my part, so by all means keep at it. By the end of the day, if your mind and body aren’t aglow with health and knowledge, I haven’t done my job.” My stomach grumbled again, this time loud enough that I felt Korosenseis’ eyes on me. A plate of takoyaki appeared on my desk as class resumed. I purposely stomped down a blush, but tucked I all the same. I shot a look to my left noticing Karma staring at me.

“What?” I asked unbothered, “It’s free food and I’m hungry.” I turned back to the lesson though by the look on Karmas’ face it would soon be interrupted.

 

This time Korosensei was more than ready for Karmas’ tricks. Each of Karmas’ assassination attempts ended in failure and embarrassment for the rest of the day. In maths end been given a manicure when he tried to shoot the teacher. Home Economics ended with him in a frilly pink apron that I struggled not to laugh at the sight of. Even in Japanese you could find Korosensei fixing the boys’ hair with girly products. The thing about Korosensei that Karma didn’t seem to understand was that he was just as human as the rest of us, if you ignored the glaringly obvious physical differences. It meant that when he was surprised his reaction time would slow, but when he had his eye on you, he was all but impossible to slip past. Karma wouldn’t be getting anymore hits in until he lost that look in his eye. The look that said this wasn’t about saving the world or even the prize money, it was a vendetta against teachers. I didn’t know what had happened with his last teacher to make him hate the whole concept of teachers in general. But I could guess that it had to do with his suspension and demotion to E class.

 

When class finally ended Karma stormed out the class room, I exchanged worried glances with Nagisa as we pack up and left. Once outside I ignore the other students, instead looking for the vibrant red hair I associated with the infuriated teen. I felt a nudge from my left and looked over to see Nagisa staring in the direction of the cliff.

“I’ll leave you to it, I don’t want to intrude.” The bluenette looked up at me, his gaze unsure.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, it’s fine.” I gave him a smile. “Do you want me to wait for you?” he shook his head.

“No, that’s alright, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See ya.” I waved and turned beginning my decent down the mountain alone. ‘I hope tomorrow goes better than today, despite how amusing some of the octopus’s retaliation was.’

 

To my surprise, the next day was much better. Whatever had been bothering the red-head seemed to have been resolved, and as such, he hadn’t interrupted a single class. Aside from the occasional remark or octopus bating which I’m certain is just part of his personality. I considered commenting on the change during lunch as Nagisa sat on my desk laughing at something the other boy had said. But after a moments deliberation I let it drop, I didn’t need to know, and if they wanted to tell then I wouldn’t begrudge them that either. Karma caught my eye and grinned, as though he knew what I’d been thinking, not that it would surprise me if he had. I was helpless to prevent my own lips twitching up into a smile in response. And for once I didn’t mind.


	4. A bitchy introduction

"Okay, look alive people. Meet our newest addition to the e class faculty.” Mr K’s dulcet tones announced demanding the classes attention.

“My names Miss Irina Jelavic, nice to meet you all.” Greeted the new teacher. My left eye twitched in vague irritation at the new addition. Irina Jelavic was very attractive and very aware of it. Her blonde hair was long and flowing and framed her breasts, which appeared to be attempting to escape the confines of her low-cut blouse, nicely. Blue green eyes fixated on Korosensei adoringly ignoring the rest of the class. My eyes narrowed at the blatant flirting going on. Seeing as there was no way in hell the government would risk letting more civilians than necessary know about Korosensei, and even less chance of someone actually being attracted to the tentacled… thing, it stood to reason that the woman before us was not some average jo. ‘Assassin.’ My mind supplied.

“We decided to bring on Miss Jelavic in the hopes of beefing up the English curriculum. No hard feelings, I hope. She’s uh, very qualified.” Continued Mr K.

“No harm in that is there.” Assured the octopus.

I sighed as the creatures face turned bright pink as he stared down the woman’s blouse. I shot a glance at Karma who looked back obviously amused and wiggled his brow in emphasis. I rolled my eyes and refocused my attention. The rest of the class seemed to have figured out there was more to Miss Jelavic than meets the eye. ‘I wonder if she’ll actually teach anything.’ I pondered, ‘Doubtful. At the very least today won’t be boring.’

 

I launched my foot forward connecting with the ball and threw myself after it striking out with my left hand that wielded an anti-sensei knife. The target dodged and caught the ball.

“Pass and kill.” Karma spoke receiving the ball I had just kicked passing it on and firing at Korosensei. I stepped back a little to observe the movements of my classmates and target during the game. I’d began noting the strengths and weaknesses of my fellow classmates, so as to better include them in any future plans, along with Karasuma, though the agent was much more difficult to read.  
A high pitched “Yoo hoo!” sounded across the grounds and all movement stopped as the form of Miss Irina Jelavic came towards us. I groaned quietly and raised my eyes to the sky in annoyance at the interruption. Nagisa, who stood to my right, elbowed me discreetly in the ribs and I tuned into the conversation taking place moments before our target sped away to collect coffee from Vietnam at the request of the blonde teacher.  
The bell rang as the dust settled.

“Uh, it’s about that time, Miss Irina. I mean that’s the bell. Shouldn’t we head back.” asked Isogai stepping forward.

“Sure, knock yourselves out. Teacher needs peace and quiet though so make it a study hall.” The rest of the class jerked back in surprise. ‘There’s the real Jelavic.’

“And another thing.” She continued taking a drag of the smoke she had just lit.   
“Lets agree not to call me Miss when the octopus isn’t around, and we’re definitely not on a first name basis, so drop it. When he is around call me Miss Jelavic.” Silence reined for a moment before Karma punctured the tense atmosphere.

“Huh. So, what’s your game Miss yellabitch?”

“NO NICKNAMES!”

“We got ourselves a real pro here. Just a word of warning from those who have been playing the odds, you’re not going to kill the octopus without help.”

She scoffed. “Please sweetheart. You’re a bunch of saplings, adults have their own way of doing things. Take note. Speaking of which,” her head turned and her gaze landed on Nagisa and myself. “you’re Nagisa Shiota and Eliza Reid right?” the bluenette jerked in surprise for the second time in as many minutes and I had to actively refrain from tensing up as she approached. Upon reaching us she grasped poor Nagisa’s face and kissed him deeply and passionately on the lips. Said boy moved to struggle but quickly went limp in her arms until she let go and he fell to the ground dazed. She turned and reached out to me but I stepped back and glared coldly.

“No.” I spook just loud enough for her to hear me but not enough that anyone else would. She stumbled for a moment surprised before she regained herself.

“Do me a fave, show me what you’ve got on him. Grab your special notebooks, meet me in the faculty lounge in ten minutes.” She turned to the rest of the class. “That goes for any of you snot nosed punks who feel like you’ve got intel worth sharing. Give Miss Jelavic something useful and I’ll let you go home while these gentlemen stand in for you.” She looked over her shoulder as three unfriendly looking men walked over. “This is what separates the pros from the amateurs boys and girls, connections and a little thing we like to call technique. Now, piss off go play. Oh, and a word of warning from those of us who know our job.” She pulled out a small revolver. “Get in the way you die.”

 

Nagisa had recovered by the time the assassin had turned away to instruct her companions. I helped him up and tried to relax my muscles. I was more tense than I’d ever been since leaving Aircrad and I hated it. Miss yellabitch had just barely finished dishing out instructions to the three men as the class of irritated students walked past her and into the school building.

“I wouldn’t expect a que if I were you.” I said quietly as I passed. She jumped the smallest amount and was probably glaring after me, but I’d already made my way up the steps and into the rundown building.

 

Nagisa, being the kind and help soul he is, predictably gave Miss yellabitch all the information he had. I, however, had most definitely not, not that it made much of a difference anyway seeing as they were mostly the same. Little Miss Bitch did in fact make her lesson a study hall, not that I was bothered by this at all, though it was still somewhat infuriating on principle. I leaned forward resting my head in its usual position on my hand and studied the woman. ‘She’s definitely a seductress if her flirting with Korosensei and that kiss with Nagisa are anything to go by. Probably seduces her way in, kills the target and gets out again before anyone finds the body. Likely knows a ton of languages, which means she’s smarter than she looks. But she’s too cocky, her overconfidence will get her killed if she’s not careful, and she’s likely pretty useless once her covers blown.’ I leaned back, pulling out my notebook and jotted down my observations. I caught her eye as she glanced over. I smirked as her eyes landed on my notebook and narrowed in anger. ‘She’s going to fail.’ I thought as her eyes locked on mine. My smirk widened before I looked away resuming my usual blank expression.  
I finished my notetaking, adding some more information to my classmates pages, and focused on the noise going on around me.

“- bite your lower lip and hum.” The class did as she instructed and my eyebrows raised. ‘Is she actually trying to teach us something?’  
“V excellent. Now practice that sound quietly for the next hour, while I ignore you.” ‘Never-mind, the world is sane again. Kind of.’

 

“What? Oh, come on, you’ve got to be kidding me. Seriously?” questioned Mimura over the sound of practiced gun fire gaining the attention of the rest of the students. We all turned to see what captured the mushroom haired boys attention, and caught sight of a very pink Korosensei being led by Miss yellabitch out to the shed.

“Wow. He’s really falling for it.” Sugaya commented disappointedly. “I can’t look. You’d think he’d have more sense.”

“Mr Karasuma sir.” Began Kataoka catching the PE instructors attention. “I get that she’s a pro, but she’s not exactly easy to get along with.”

“Yes, I know. I’m sorry you kids have to deal with her, but the higher ups seem to think she’s all that. And well, seeing what she’s been able to put together in such a short time, does tend to make me agree with them.”

“She’s going to fail.” I commented neutrally. 26 heads turned to me displaying various levels of surprise.

“How’d you mean?” asked Nagisa being more used to me speaking my mind than the others. I answered without looking away from the shed the two had just entered.

“She’s stubborn and over-confident. That might be fine with normal targets but Korosenseis anything but normal. She’s going to do something stupid like use real bullets instead of the BB’s because she’s a ‘professional’, she won’t want to use something she views as harmless.” I shrugged. Bloodlust seeped out of the shed, crawling through the gaps like spiders. It set me on edge and I was relieved when it cut off and gunfire disturbed the silence, though the scream and slithering sound that followed were quite disturbing.

“What was that?!”

“I heard gun fire, a scream and now a slithering noise!”  
Half the class sweat-dropped at the moaned “Nooooooo.” that followed.

“I really want to know what he’d doing to her in there.” Muttered Okajima, his cheaks flushed.

“Lets go.” Maehara ran forward, myself, Nagisa and a few others following.

 

We made it to the shed just as the doors opened and a still pink octopus excited. ‘The fact that he managed to keep a blush through an assassination attempt is almost impressive.’

“Korosensei-” Nagisa began before being cut off by Okajima’s exclaimation.

“DID YOU TOUCH HER BOOBS?” I sighed as my left eye twitched once more.

“If only I had the time to be really thouror, but class isn’t going to teach itself, is it children.” Said Korosensei turning back to his usual yellow.

“Um, what exactly went on in there sir?” asked Nagisa before we all caught sight of the assassin stumbling dazedly out of the shed. “Miss yellabitch has been stuffed into a tastefully retro gym outfit!”

“It would take longer for me to explain the things he did to this body than it did for him to do them. My back a shoulders have never felt looser, he somehow worked in a lymphatic oil message, a change of clothes, just because, and he still had time to this… thing with his tentacles.”

“WHAT THING WITH HIS TENTACLES?!” screamed Okajima. Nagisa turned to face our teacher and I followed with my arms folded.

“Korosensei, what is she talking about?” the bluenette asked.

“Uh, adults sometimes need special care.” The octopus had adopted a blank expression looking away from us.

“I don’t trust that look.” Nagisa said and I nodded my agreement as we began to walk away.

“Come now back to the classroom boys and girls.”

“Yes sir.” We chorused. I glanced back as we walked, catching sight of an extremely pissed off assassin glaring after us.

 

The class sat in silence only disturbed by the frantic tap tap tapping coming from Miss yellabitch from the front along with the occasional grumbling. I blew out a small huff of air, assuming my usual position and watched as our teacher worked herself into a frenzy.

“Oh come on! What’s with the wifi in this place, are we on Mars?”

“Wow, looks like Miss yellabitch is pissed off.” Observed Karma reclining lazily in his chair, “I know my pride would be in shambles if my plan went tits up.” The ‘teacher’ growled at the red head before she was intercepted by Isogai.

“Excuse me, Miss.”

“Ugh, what?”

“If you’re not going to teach us anything, you mind if we swap you out for Korosensei? It’s just we’ve got entrance exams coming up and-”

“Ha. You want to swap me out for that disgusting creature? You’re worried about entrance exams when the planet is on notice? Must be paradise not knowing your ass from a hole in the ground. Give it a rest, even if the Earth wasn’t on the brink of destruction, entrance exams are for students with a future.” I stiffened in my seat along with the others. ‘Don’t go there.’ I thought warningly the grip on my pen growing tighter. “ News flash that’s not any of you losers.” ‘Welp she’s done it now.’ “How about this kids, forget the studying, help me brainstorm on how to kill the octopus and I’ll give you a nice percentage of the reward money. That’s the best deal any of you e class jerk-offs are going to get out of life. Otherwise knock it off with the whining and let-” Two thunks cut her off. The first was a rubber that missed its target instead hitting the board behind her. The second was the pen I had thrown which had dug in and stuck in the blackboard. Stray strands of hair fell over my eyes as I lowered my hand from the throw. I could feel the surprise radiating off of Karma but ignored it in favour of glaring Miss yellabitch.

“Get out.” Spoke Maehara quiet but forcefully.  
Chaos erupted as the majority of the class started yelling and pelting stationary at the bitch, some even standing to aim better. She eventually fled from the room, much to my relief. I couldn’t be bothered moving so my pen remained in the blackboard. The rest of the period was spent outside playing/training. I watched around half the class participating in assassination badminton and made a few notes.

 

It was almost the end of the day, all the students were messing around or talking back in the classroom, myself in a discussion with Karma on the merits of spices and their applications outside of cooking, when the door slid open a Miss yellabitch walked in picking up chalk and wrote on the board, pausing only briefly at the pen sticking out of it.

“What word does incredible modify? You know this one.” Everyone sat in their seats surprised at the sudden lesson. “Read it aloud.” They did. i repressed a smirk at what they were unknowingly saying.  
“I once took out an American VIP, literally. I had my feminine grace to thank for getting me close to the target. The poor dude fell for me hook, line and sinker. You are incredible in bed he told me. Incredible in this case modifies the word you. To learn grammar you’ve got to see how it works in the real world. Like a full emersion course in a foreign language, take a lover that speaks it and you can’t miss. I know grammar seems boring and technical, but it’s what underpins how we communicate. Communication is key in my line of work, and in life. Whether speaking English, French, Portuguese what have you, all people have an underlying need to express their feelings, that’s why this is important. The examples may be risqué but they come from real life scenarios, they will all have either been said by me or to me by someone else. Someday you might use or hear them yourselves. Don’t expect me to be like the octopus. He can help you with your entrance exams, which isn’t without value I suppose, all I can do is help you learn the art of conversation. Here’s the deal, if after wile you think ‘this is stupid’ and ‘I’m not a teacher’, fine. I’ll give up my assignment and leave.” She paused looking sheepishly out at the attentive class of students. “So, this ought to put us on the level, right? Oh, and I’m sorry about being, such a bitch.”  
Silence barely had a chance to settle before the class started laughing at the absurdness of it all. My own lips twitched as I huffed out a half laugh half sigh.

“Wow talk out a one-eighty. First you want to kill us, now you’re acting like a woose." laughed Karma gleefully.

 

I snorted as our new teacher, or Professor Bitch as she was now known, exploded at us over her new name, the class simply laughed her off. I leaned back in my chair observing another days chaos. ‘No such thing as quiet day here either, I guess.’ My gaze landed on the flailing teacher. ‘She seems genuine enough, but all the same I’ll keep an eye on her. Better safe than sorry.’


	5. Bad days, worse nights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Speaking Japanese"  
> 'Thoughts'  
> "[Speaking English]"  
> "{Speaking Russian}"  
> *Dream/Flashback Sequence*

*An alarm sounded. The door banged shut locking us in the room as enemies appeared surrounding us. There was no time to think, thinking would get me killed. I reacted, hacking and slashing my way through the never-ending hoard. A scream grabbed my attention and I turned in time to witness one of my guild mates, my friend, shatter into pixels.

Red filled my vision as I continued my onslaught. I could hear the occasional yell and cry for help but was unable to even see who had called out, let alone reach them.  
Something pierced my side causing pain to shoot through me. I gritted my teeth and rolled left pulling out a concealed knife and spun around, throwing it as I spotted the assailant. It struck in its eye and let out a cry of pain before disappearing into pixels. Still crouched I took out several approaching enemy’s legs and used one of the downed creatures to launch myself over the crowd to an area that would be easier to defend from.

 

I shook from adrenaline as the last attacker was cut down. Searching the room for my friends I tried to smoother my worry. There was a dark figure no more than ten feet to my left staring back at me. Kirito. I almost breathed a sigh of relief until I spotted his broken gaze. My eyes widened and I frantically searched the room for the rest of our guild.  
It was empty apart from the two of us.

My knees buckled as the door finally slid open. I felt a hand on my shoulder and barely had the strength to look up at my closest friend. His expression mirrored my own, broken.

“We’ve got to go.” He whispered, voice cracking as several tears fell. I nodded and stood shakily. He grasped my hand in a smothering grip as though afraid I too would disappear, I squeezed back just as tightly as we left the dungeon.*

 

I jerked awake gasping for breath. Curling in on myself as choked sobs wracked my shaking form. I finally got my emotions under control after heaven knows how long and sat up throwing the covers off me. I checked my phone noticing the time read 03:24 and sighed. There was no way I was getting anymore sleep so I stood and headed to the bathroom to wash up. ‘I look a mess.’ I thought staring at my tear stained face. I headed back into my room, after washing away any evidence of tears, I changed into my uniform, tying my neckerchief securely around my neck, and packed my bag for the day. Grabbing my bag and keys I left the apartment. The sun had barely risen and there was still a couple of hours until school started but I needed breathing room that I couldn’t get in the cluttered apartment.

 

After around an hour of aimless wandering I made my way to the train station, briefly stopping at a convenience store to pick up my lunch for the day. I still ended up arriving at the E class building significantly earlier than everyone else. I slumped at my desk resting my head on my folded arms. My unoccupied mind couldn’t help flashing back to my old guild. The Midnight Black Cats. Kirito and I had joined the group after stumbling across them training in the forest, he’d been rather taken with Sachi, a sweet shy girl, while I’d struck up a fast friendship with Ducker the guilds thief/treasure hunter. We’d only spent two months with the small guild when the ambush happened. Keita, the guilds leader, had gone to use the money they had collected to buy their own house and the rest of them, to celebrate, had decided to raid a dungeon. The others never made it back out. My fists clenched as I remembered the stunned distraught look on Keita’s face as we broke the news. I shook with repressed sobs remembering how I could only watch as he turned and walked off the edge of Aincrad helpless to stop him. I sat up straight wiping away my tears before they could fall and tried to compose myself before anyone else arrived. I didn’t notice the giant yellow sea creature watching from the door with worry in his beady eyes.

 

Eventually everyone arrived filling the room and lessons began. I struggled to keep focused on class as my mind continually strayed to the dark memories my dream had brought to the surface. I didn’t even try to pay until near the end of science when Okuda stood up. My heart panged for a moment; the shy purple haired girl couldn’t help but remind me of Sachi. I only noticed she’d been concealing something behind her when she stood in front of the teacher’s desk.

“I, uh, well…” She looked like a scared animal about to flee at any moment.

“Go on, speak up Okuda. What can I do for you?” Encouraged the teacher.

“Um. Poison sir. Would you drink it please?” she blurted holding out three vials. The class sweat dropped and a few chuckled at her boldness. “I’m sorry.” She apologised deflating.   
“Is this weird?”

“It’s certainly a straightforward assassination attempt I’ll give you that.” Korosensei assured awkwardly.

“See, the thing is sir… I’m not very good at being sneaky, I mean everyone else is so good at this stuff. But me, what I’m good at is chemistry and I put my heart and soul into this mixture.”

There was a pause as everyone digested this information. ‘He won’t really be dumb enough to drink it will he?’ I thought sceptically. Apparently Sugino had thought the same thing and spoke up.

“Uh, Okuda. Points for throwing in but no ones that stupid.”

“Your heart and soul? Don’t mind if I do then!” The octopus exclaimed proceeding to pour one of the poisons down his throat. My left eye twitched as the class broke out in noises of astonishment.

“He is willingly drinking poison. How exactly have we not managed to kill him?” I muttered in both annoyance and bewilderment.  
The whole class looked on stunned as he convulsed and… grew horns? ‘Okay. Not exactly what we were expecting.’ I took note of the strange effect in my notebook creating a new section specifically for poisons. The next vial did no more than the first though instead of horns he now had wings. The third and final actually looked like it might work for a moment and several people stood up to get a better view. But instead of dying like he should have his face went completely blank. Frankly it looked bland.

“This just keeps getting weirder and weirder.” Said Maehara exasperatedly.

“I don’t like this look it’s creeping me out.” Replied Isogai.

“If you hate me, I understand, but please, don’t hate assassination.” The still blank faced octopus commented.

“What’s that even supposed to mean?!” someone yelled. I glanced over at Nagisa brows raised. He looked back at me shrugging with a perplexed look on his face that was mirrored by most of the class. “Also young lady. As your teacher I can’t overlook the fact that you handled toxic substances unsupervised.” Korosensei reprimanded finally back to his usual appearance.

“Yes sir. Sorry sir.” She sighed clearly disappointed.

“Don’t worry I have an idea. Why don’t we work together on a poison that as a little more of a kick?”

“Ah, sure!” Pleased, the girl headed back to her seat allowing Korosensei to finish the class.

 

Lunch was a quiet and distracted affair but considering I didn’t talk much at the best of times, it thankfully went unnoticed. School eventually ended for the day though I could barely recall what we’d been taught. I relaxed slightly as I made my way along a familiar route. I didn’t feel like heading home so instead I got off the train a few stops early and made my way to the Dicey Café, a café run by the ex-axe wielder Agil. I turned down an ally and smiled for the first time since my nightmare as I spotted the homely cafes sign. Myself and my friends from SAO frequently used Agil’s place to meet up and it held enough fond memories that even the thought of the place brought a warmth to my chest. Both Agil and his wife were also both kind enough to let me stay over on nights were my uncles flat wasn’t safe. If Kirito was my brother figure, then Agil was my overprotective older cousin. I opened the door and stepped inside allowing the comfort the place exuded to wash over me. It looked rather more like a bar than a café in my mind, what with the wooden countertop, the drinks, both alcoholic and non, that adorned the back wall and the classic jukebox pushed against a wall. Not to mention the fact that the place was usually packed at night. In fact I was pretty sure that the only one who didn’t realise the place was actually a bar was Agil. The man himself currently stood behind the counter cleaning a glass. A typical bar tender thing to do. Agil was tall, dark skinned, bald and built like a brick house to the point where not even two years in a coma had deflated his muscles. In short he appeared extremely intimidating at least until you got to know him, in reality he was a huge teddy bear. Well, a huge teddy bear that could cave your skull in with an axe, but that was beside the point. He looked up hearing the door as I entered.

“Little Qrow, I wasn’t expecting to you today?” he posed it as a question. I smiled at his obvious concern.

“I just thought I’d stop by. Didn’t feel like head home yet.” I answered half honestly. There was no point in lying, he’d just call Kirito who would call Asuna, who would call Lisbeth, who would… Well, you get the picture. They had a tendency to be overprotective with both myself and Silica as we were both the youngest of the group having gotten stuck in the game when we were twelve. It was nice, though it could get rather irritating. It didn’t help that I was attending a totally different school from them because of my uncles meddling.   
The older man nodded accepting my response.

We sat in silence for the duration of my visit occasionally talking about school though I was purposefully vague. It’s not like I could tell anyone about Korosensei what with him being a government secret and all. I left as the crowds began to trickle in and made my way back home feeling better than I had that morning. I got to the door of the apartment before hearing the smashing of glass inside and sighed as I made my way outside again. Scaling a building was not as hard as I’d assumed it would be the first time I did so. In fact, it was rather enjoyable despite the need behind it. There was also a conveniently place fire escape near my room window which made things a great deal easier. I climbed through the unlatched widow to my room, locked the door and collapsed on my bed exhausted.

 

The next day started off just as eventful as the previous. I had gotten a decent amount of sleep and was in a better mental state than before however, though I was still easier to rile up than usual and my homework had definitely taken a hit. Actually being able to concentrate on something other than my own morbid thoughts was a relief a Okuda, the poison brewer from the day before, had brought in a new poison which Korosensei had instructed her to brew. I listened in to her explanation to Kayano as I made my way to stand behind Nagisa as he looked over the instructions the teacher had gave Okuda regarding the poison.

“He even drew a manga of the safety guidelines and proper use and storage. I’m impressed. Going the extra mile yet again.” Nagisa commented as I peered over his shoulder. Sugino looked sceptical.

“I know he’s unconventional and all, but giving us the goods on a poison that’ll kill him?”

“I doubt that’s really what this is.” I responded scoffing. The two boys just about jumped out of their skin at my ‘sudden’ appearance.

“When did you get here?” questioned Sugino as he tried to calm his racing heart. I shrugged noncommittally and Nagisa sweat dropped.

“Wait what do you mean?” asked Nagisa catching what I had said. I ignored him and headed to my seat as Korosensei entered and Okuda approached him with the poison.

“Here it is sir, just like you asked.”

“Ah, nice work. Cheers to your health children, salud!”   
He downed the poison in one and began laughing darkly. “Thank you Okuda. Thank you very much indeed. This concoction is exactly what I needed to level up.” ‘So, I was right then.’ I thought pleased but cautious. It hadn’t been until this morning that it had occurred to me that he was likely using Okuda to benefit himself. No doubt there was an explanation for this, but I still didn’t like that he was using the girl like this. The octopus’ aura darkened further a right at the climax,

“HE MELTED!” ‘Oh, what the hell? This is bloody ridiculous.’

“Phew. You didn’t think that was a poison did you?” asked the silver grey blob of goo seeping over the sides of the teacher desk. “On the contrary, I had you whip up a special tonic designed to increase my fluidity.” He sped off landing in Kataoka’s desk, something the girl was not particularly fond of by the uncomfortable expression on her face. “In this form I fit comfortably into the tightest nooks and cranies.”

“What are you doing in there?” asked Kataoka successfully creeped out.

“Best of all I lose none of my speed. Go on try to beat me.” He began launching himself around the classroom and the class tried to aim at him but he had moved before they could even fire a shot. I quickly made my way to the front of the class through the chaos and poured several BB’s into Korosensei’s clothes that lay on the ground. I snuck back to my seat and sat down to watch.

“You tricked me that’s not fair” cried Okuda as the teacher finally came to rest in the corner of the class ceiling. His grin stretched as he looked down at us.

“Fair? Verbal deception is an essential part of any assassins tool kit.”

“Huh?” 

“What are you talking about sir?” inquired Nagisa stepping up next to the would-be poisoner.

“Approaching the target so naively is a good way to fail in your mission. Even the deadliest of poisons is useless if one can’t persuade the mark to drink it.” He descended from the ceiling. “Nagisa, if you wanted to poison me how might you go about it?” The class turned to the bluenette.

“Well let me think. I’d probably put it in something you like. And then I would offer it to you as a gift.” The octupus’ grin widened and he began to slip inside his clothes.

“Excellent. You see to deceive someone you must first get inside their heads know what they respond to, use language create-IIIAH! WHO PUT ANTI-ME BB’S IN HERE!” The class started in surprise before swear dropping at the teacher who was flailing in an attempt to dislodge the BB’s. he eventually succeeded but everyone could see yellow goo which accompanied an injury.

“As I was saying. In poisoning, as in life, the key to success is communication. Imagine that one day you make an earth-shattering scientific discovery. How can it benefit mankind if it stays locked inside your head? Knowing the right thing to say can make all the difference, right.”

“Right. Thank you, sir.” She beamed up at him in understanding.

I smiled slightly as we cleaned up and began class. I knew my ‘assassination attempt’ wouldn’t work, but the opportunity was too good to resist. And I might have been a little annoyed at the octopus on behalf of Okuda. Still, his reaction had been hilarious.


End file.
